Here is an overview of events to take in consideration for the publication:
4th September 2018 - Change in vision. Like looking through coffee granules sifting in water. Like looking through TV static by the end of the night.
5-6th September 2018 - Further deterioration in vision. Large floaters like black strings across lens, flashing lights, a black curtain pulling across my lens. I needed medical attention. I originally suspected I was exhausted from being a carer to my mum, a stroke survivor, and tending to her needs and two animals, as well as doing all of the house work as well as planning to come back to university and putting those steps in place and packing my things, as well as getting ready to go to a concert and organising everything for that and packing.
6th September - I could no longer ignore what was happening or wish for them to magically get better. I needed help. I don't live near any kind of hospital as I'm on the edge of Salford. I don't have anyone who can drive me anywhere anymore with my mum suffering her severe stroke. She severely disabled and we had to get rid of our car. Waiting for a bus was miserable, but Tami and I went to the Trafford Center where there is a Boots with an opticians. IT's all I could think of doing that was relatively close.
7th September - Travelling to London for Ghost's Royal Albert Hall show. The black curtain was pulling across my vision so severely and I could barely see a thing. It was a huge struggle checking into the hotel and I didn't even attempt to unpack. That night, I was blind and everything was black.
8th September 2018 - Ghost show (my favourite band) at the Royal Albert Hall in London with meet and greet. The black curtain had completely drawn over my vision meaning that my retina had completely detached and peeled away at this point. I had to stay as safe as possible and ensure I wasn't knocked in any way. Everyone was kind and considerate from the band, crew, and audience. After the show had ended I knew that trains would have stopped running and I'd need to somehow problem-solve what to do next. Someone suggested the Magic Bus service to me. No seats were left and I had to wait for a bus for one available seat next to the driver. I'd travelled alone in the night, with Tami, from London to Manchester and tried to make myself as comfortable as possible. The driver was considerate to my situation and let me know every major city that we passed through. My phone had died upon arriving into Manchester so the next issue was trying to get help in ordering a taxi to the hospital.
9th September 2018 - 7am emergency surgery at Manchester Royal Eye Hospital to reattach my retina.
10th September 2018 - Discharged from Manchester Royal Eye Hospital and sent home with eye drops to help the healing process and the pressure in my eyes. I struggled to use them on my own. My mum is a severe stroke survivor, with little mobility or coordination - especially in her hands, so struggled to help me too.
11th September 2018 - My operated eye was so incredibly swollen, painful and an angry red. It had a tight feeling about it. It didn't feel right to be feeling this way so I ordered a taxi back to the hospital. After going to the eye A&E department, the pressure in my eye was too high and would need operating on. Ideally I would not be awake for this surgery but the nurse received miscommunication about then my surgery was and so I was confused too and gave me something to eat. My eye needed operating on though, so I went under local anaesthetic while I was awake and had needles poked into my eyes. It was like white hot pokers in my eye while the pressure escaped out. It was the worst pain I've ever felty and wouldn't wish it on anybody.
After my second emergency surgery, I stayed in hospital for a number of weeks to help posture my retina correctly and to administer my eye drops at the correct times of the day as I couldn't see to do it as a newly blind person. When my positioning period was satisfactory and over, I could then go home, pack as best as I could and move to student accommodation to start my second year of university. Ideally I wouldn't have been doing this at all given the circumstances but the accommodation were not forgiving of my medical circumstances as I was locked into a contract. I had also the student loans to think about and university and felt a huge amount of pressure to go, and make up for the year I had already taken out to look after my mum.
7th December 2018 - I transferred to St. James in Leeds to have check-ups on my eyes, and it was discovered that the retina was detaching in my other eye while they looked in. Retinal detachment is seen as a medical emergency, even though I was already blind in that eye it still needs attaching. An emergency surgery was booked for the next availability.
10th December 2018 - Third emergency surgery. The retina had detached differently in my right eye so a silicone buckle had to be inserted into my retina to keep everything in place. At first it wanted to reject and made everything very difficult for me.
5th February 2019 - Fourth and final emergency surgery. A membrane had grown over my left eye which was still preventing me from seeing. Stitches were placed in my eye, instead of the inky gas bubble I'd come to know from my previous 3 surgeries. I really struggled with these stitches and two became very stubborn to dissolve as they became deeply embedded into my eye.
After being discharged, I didn't feel very well. I got very cold and lost track of time. Guide Dogs had rang me on the phone to make sure I was okay and to see if Tami could come home after my surgery but I was distant and fallen asleep on them. Concerned, they rang my GP. He came to visit and evaluated me. He rang for an ambulance and I was put onto a frailty ward.
16th February 2019: I had suffered a post-operative infection and had my bloods regularly monitored. 11 days later, I finally go home and heal. I was still suffering with the stitches in my eyes which would send shooting pains down my eyes and face like lava.
March 2019 - April 2019 - Stitches in my eyes were very stubborn but after some prompting with eye drops from my surgeon to speed up the process, were finally dissolved. I had missed the majority of the academic year and needed to reapply.
Potential content for the zine:
What is a retina? What does it do?
The retina is a layer of cells that line the back wall inside the eye. It senses light and sends signals to the bran to that you can see.
What is retinal detachment?
Retinal detachment is where the retina peels away from its underlying layer of support tissue. It is a surgical emergency and without immediate treatment can lead to vision loss and blindness.
Next Steps:
• Collecting my photographs from my camera roll and compiling into a digital photo album.
•Collecting my instagram posts and statuses of the time.
• Continuing the physical output/briefs and enjoying the experimentation process.
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