How is this project going so far? I'm satisfied with my output of canvas paintings before things got bad for me and I started to lose myself in isolation and disconnection. I've completed all three of the briefs I've set for myself though I think I can still continue to experiment with some more paintings of the process of retinal detachment and what blindness means. I don't believe I've quite reached that stage in visual representation. I won't be able to meet any of the deadlines of my peers due to aforementioned personal reasons so will make the time to heal, reflect and push forward. I have lost time because of my mental health, but been afforded time in extensions, but realise I have yet to start planning for and constructing the publication.
What has worked well so far? Painting onto different canvas shapes has offered the opportunity to problem solve and consider different surface dimensions rather than just square and rectangular. How do I convey the blind lens and how I experience the world, in an abstract way, onto these very small objects? It was often challenging because of how small they were but photographing them and showcasing them onto instagram has achieved a success in my practice. My audience is responding and engaging well with the shaped canvases as they are unusual and not what we usually associate with the word canvas. I only found them when searching thoroughly through Amazon to ensure I'd scoured and scoped every cheap option.
One particular canvas, The First Day, I hold high regard for. I wanted to tell the story of having the membrane peeled from my left eye and what it was like to see through my eye properly for the first time. After grappling with these canvases for some time, getting used to painting and canvases, I managed to accurately portray what it's like to look through a frosted lens with structure gel to create peaks, turrets and warps - using the colours and the hospital room I was staying in to heal.
What could be better? I still haven't had the opportunity to make my own canvas frame yet and stretch the fabric across. This would allow me to work to a bigger scale and would really change my performance, my movement, my visual language and my story telling. Right now I'm using the same dimensions of canvas (8x8, 8x10, 12x16, etc) and shaped canvases (circular, hexagon, triangle) to explore with. I'm sat at my desk and stuck in a way of making. A large canvas could allow me to stand above it, sit next to it, throw paint at it - all of which will change the strokes, the information, and tell a completely different story. I'm not sure if I will have the opportunity to visit the wood workshop for this brief realistically but hope I will find time over the summer as it will be a huge step in my professional practice.
Project development: Looking forward and looking ahead more broadly, I have my dissertation and professional practice to factor in first as I'd like to get those out of the way before I give my full time and attention to my Final Major Project. Writing a dissertation is a terrifying prospect for me. I am not good at academic writing and need to set myself aside plenty of time to grapple this. I have amassed a huge portfolio of paintings and these will continue as I enjoy painting. It excites me and is something I do without needing to gear up and be prompted to do it as it's university work. Once the focus has shifted from the other two modules I would like to continue to explore: further canvas paintings of retinal detachment - continuing to explore with mediums (structure gel, matte medium, gloss medium) to portray blindness.
• To collect all of my photographs from the time from Instagram and my camera roll.
• Exploring poetry to illuminate my blind lens and personal feelings of pain and isolation
• Artist research
• Publication and Zine research
• Reflection on all points to shape and drive the project forward
